We Go Together
by Jennoist-OTP
Summary: 21 year old wannabe performer Marley Rose is struggling to make ends meet in LA and dealing with the split from ex-boyfriend Jake. Ryder Lynn is just another lonely actor, trying to make it in the industry and deal with his own personal demons. What will happen when they are brought together by a small theatre production of Grease? AU Ryley.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all! I hope you like this, it is like my millionth fanfic, but the first one I have had the nerve to publish!**

Today is not going to be my day. I already decide that when my alarm clock cruelly wakes me up at 7am, and I feel a nauseous pang in my head, the result of an ill-advised, wine filled, girls night in with my best friend and roommate, Unique. It takes all my will power not to turn the alarm straight off and go back to sleep, but I have work in just over an hour, and as a 21 year old small town girl in the big city, struggling to make ends meet, I can't afford to call in sick and turn down a shift's pay, even if it is on minimum wage.

I jump in the shower and reflect on my new life to take my mind off the growing headache. I had graduated from college in Los Angeles six months ago with a major in music. I had offered to return to Lima, Ohio, to my mom, who doesn't really have anyone else, but she wasn't having any of it:

"You have magic in your throat, Marley. Don't you dare even think I'm going to stand in the way of your dream."

My dream being singing. I had dreamed about being able to hear myself on the radio since about six years old. So I stayed in LA and began renting an apartment with Unique, whom I had met in college, and was also able to retain regular contact with many of my friends who also stayed in the city, and set about working on making my dream a reality.

Now don't get me wrong, I had never thought it would be easy. But I had been working on getting noticed non-stop since graduation from college, and no-one in the industry had even blinked twice. So for the moment, and indeed, foreseeable future, I was stuck waiting tables in a modest downtown café, and right now, I was needed for the breakfast shift.

I get out of the shower and start drying my hair, all the while continuing my slightly harsh, but true, evaluation of post-college life; My love life was no silver lining to the grey cloud of my job status, either. I had broken up with Jake Puckerman, my first love, about half way through my our final year of college. I was pretty much over the split, but the guy whom I gave my virginity living only a couple of blocks away with his uber-bitch of a new girlfriend, makes things awkward, to say the least. I despise Kitty. A fellow student at our college, she reminds me of the bitchy girls who had made my high school years hell in Ohio. She had been after Jake from the start of our relationship, feeding our already intense rivalry, and well, I guess she had won in the end. There hadn't been any other guys since Jake, despite Unique and my other best friends Tina, Brittany and Sugar's protestations that I should put myself out there and 'have some fun', as they put it. I however maintained the fact that I was happy single and focussing on my career rather than my love sex life, and that it was going to take a pretty awesome guy to change that.

I am now ready. I look at the clock. It is time for work.

Over fourteen hours after I had left that morning, I finally return home to our apartment, sore, exhausted, and still hung-over. I belly flop dramatically onto the couch.

"Girl…how long have you been grafting at the dump today?" I hear Unique ask from the kitchen area.

"Too long", is my reply.

"Unique found something that might interest you today." My best friend has a bizarre tendency of referring to herself in the third person, being the diva she is.

"Oh yeah? A recording contract? A date with Ryan Gosling? A vacation to Hawaii? After the day I've had it's gonna have to be on that level." Unique grins at my self-deprecating moaning.

"Not quite", she starts, "but it could get you in to the entertainment industry, on a low level."

I look up. This is already more interesting than I had expected. I motion at her to continue.

"The Melville Community Theatre is doing a small production of Grease. They've found their Danny Zuko but auditions for Sandy are still open. You should totally try out!"

"Oh, I don't know…" I start. "I love watching musical theatre but doing it isn't really my thing-" Unique cut me off.

"Girlfriend, you need to stop with all this negativity. How do you know it isn't your thing if you haven't tried it? You need to stop thinking, 'Marley Rose, broke waitress wannabe popstar' and start thinking 'Marley Rose, best Sandy Olsson since Olivia Newton-John herself'. Besides, I've heard the guy playing Danny is super cute, and uh, let's just say it's been a while for you, hasn't it…"

"UNIQUE!" I playfully swat her with the flyer advertising said audition she has just handed to me. But I am curious. I love Grease, and I could really use the money, if nothing else. "Do you really think I should audition?"

"Yes! Tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow? No way will I be prepared so soon"

"Bitch please!" exclaims my friend, in her typical OTT diva style. "I know one song you could do in your sleep and still ace it."

I smile awkwardly. I am pretty good at that song. Also, I have tomorrow morning off, so I totally c_ould _go if I wanted too…

"Oh, what the hell. I'll give it a go." Unique squeals and claps her hands.

"Better go get your beauty sleep girl, I am SO excited for you!"

I awake the next morning. And get ready quicker than I have done in a while. Despite the fact that all logic suggests I won't get the part, that it will be another no, I just have a good vibe about this. By 11am, I am at the Melville Community Theatre, waiting in the corridor outside a door with a sign proclaiming 'OPEN AUDITIONS- GREASE'. A man opens the door.

"Next please." I am the only girl waiting. Oh God. That means I'm next. I follow the man awkwardly through the door and into the theatre's auditorium. It is very small and intimate, but the empty seats still make me nervous. I step onto the stage. The man who showed me in has sat down next to two other men, and starts talking.

"Hi there, I'm Will Schuester, I'm producing the production, here on my left in Artie Abrams, director, and this here is Ryder Lynn, he'll be playing Danny, he wanted to watch auditions for Sandy to have a say on who he'll be sharing the limelight with.

I look at this Ryder Lynn and immediately feel myself blush. Even in the dim light of the auditorium, he is _gorgeous. _From what I can see, he has an athletic frame. His darkish hair is floppily combed, framing his beautiful face. His eyes and smile twinkle like nothing I've ever seen before, and his sideburns are doing very funny things to me. Wow. I haven't crushed on a guy like this in a long time.

"Hey." He smiles. "You can start when you're ready. What's your name?"

I'm flustered. I now want this more than ever.

"Hi, my name's Marley Rose, and I'm going to be singing 'New York State of Mind'."

Ryder Lynn smiles again, and I sing my song, my special song.

I think I've done ok. They're clapping, at least.

"Thank you Marley Rose. We'll let you know."

I smile awkwardly and step down from the stage, trying my absolute hardest not to trip as I walk past that gorgeous, gorgeous man. I leave the auditorium. I am on a high. Nothing is going to bring me down today, nothi-

"Oh hi boobless. I hope you weren't just trying out for Sandy, because that part, like your EX-boyfriend, is mine."

Kitty Wilde sends me a vicious stare before marching through the door I have just left. Crap.

**Hope you liked it! Please review, it would make my day. Chapter 2 will hopefully be up within the next couple of days :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Here is chapter 2. I hope you enjoy it! (I do not own anything related to Glee, nor do I claim to.)**

"So, how did it go?" Tina questions me with enthusiasm. Unique has invited the girls over to squeeze into our tiny, messy apartment to interrogate me about the audition for Grease.

"Well, I think. Until I walk out of the auditorium and Kitty Wilde is there waiting. It's just so typical! I feel like fate is trying to make her ruin my life, one step at a time."

"Kitty was auditioning too?!" Tina looks surprised. "I didn't think community theatre was her thing."

"Marley you have nothing to worry about" starts Sugar. "I mean sure, she may be blonde, sleeping with your ex bf and have bigger boobs than you, but-"

I throw her a look. A 'how-is-that-supposed-to-make-me-feel-better' look. "Sorry…" she continues. "Aspergers…"

"I think what Sugar's trying to say is, you are better than her. Yes she's hot, and she can sing, but not like you! That's why she tries to antagonise you, she's jealous!"

I smile. Tina is a lot better at support than self-diagnosed Sugar, and of course Brittany, who is currently locked in deep conversation with the stuffed toy cat that sits on the sofa, whom I'm pretty sure she still thinks is real…last time I asked her she was convinced it was having a relationship with her own real cat, Lord Tubbington, whom she also claims to be a chain smoking gang member. Sometimes I wonder whether she's just joking around with us or if she genuinely does believe these things, but I love her all the same.

"So", starts Unique, joining us in the living area with cocktails for us all. "You haven't told us about the Danny Zuko, yet."

"Oh yeah! Tell me more, tell me more!" Brittany bursts into the Grease song and we all giggle like a bunch of 13 year olds at a sleepover.

"Well…" I start, and I feel my cheeks turn pink just at the thought of him.

"MARLEY!" Sugar squeals, "you're blushing already! You like him don't you?! He's cute isn't he?!"

I sigh, left with no option but to tell them all about my encounter with Ryder Lynn, his perfect body, cheesy but cute grin and reassuring words.

"You do realise this is all in vain," I say, once I have finished my story. My girlfriends look perplexed. "Well," I explain, "as usual, Kitty will have bounced in there, batted her eyelashes, sang her song, offered other… 'benefits' in exchange for the part, as always, and they will give her the part and forget all about me."

"Err, what did Unique say about negativity? Just stop worrying! When do you find out the final casting?"

"They said 'as soon as possible'. I really hope they meant that cos I need to know now! I gave them all possible ways of getting hold of me, so I will be on alert from all directions."

The waiting is unbearable. Every time my phone buzzes my stomach lurches in anticipation, only to find a text from Mom, or some boring Facebook notification. After 3 whole days of agony, my phone rings on Friday afternoon, and I answer to hear Artie Abrams, the production's director, on the other end.

"Hi Miss Rose, sorry to keep you waiting. The full cast has now been finalised and I've emailed you that, but I wanted to take the opportunity to congratulate you in person. Well done - you're our Sandy."

"Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!" Keep it cool, Marls, keep it cool.

"You're welcome, and thank you for auditioning, we all loved your voice, and Ryder thought you'd be perfect." My heart leaps. _Ryder thought I'd be perfect. _Artie continues to feed me information, and I manage to keep composed enough to take it in. "I've also emailed you the timetable for full time rehearsals which start next month, but until then, I'd like the actors with singing parts to have separate specialised rehearsals to really nail down the songs. Will Schuester's gonna take care of those, he's really excited, something about reminding him about his high school Glee club…anyway, I was also wondering you could attend a kind of workshop/rehearsal thingy just with Ryder, to get in sync with each other? I know it's really short notice but would you be free tomorrow, maybe 11am onwards? Ryder is free then and, as I said, we'd like you to get to know each other alone before anything else, chemistry between my stars is very important to me."

"Um…yes, sure! I have Saturday off work this week so that'll be totally fine."

"Awesome! Thanks Marley, we'll see you tomorrow, bye."

"Bye! And thank you again!"

I hang up and let out all my pent up emotion, squealing like a possessed child and running round the apartment, bursting into Unique's room.

"OHMYGODIDIDITIACTUALLYDIDIT!" I yell at my friend, barely stopping for breath. She is almost as excited as I am.

Once the initial euphoria has settled down, I set about looking through the information the director has emailed me. I epically fail at suppressing my laughter when I see Kitty has been cast as Patty Simcox. Next month, I learn, the rehearsals become pretty much a full time job for a couple months, before performances every Tuesday, Friday and Saturday evening for 6 weeks. Small time it may be, but it still sounds awesome. It also means I'm gonna have to cut my shifts at the café, but I'm getting paid a little from the theatre company, and as far as I'm concerned, a temporary drop in income is but a small price to pay for my first break in the entertainment industry.

I look at the clock. Enough time to ring Mom and tell her the great news before bed and an early night. I need my beauty sleep; tomorrow is my one on one get-to-know-the-super-hot-co-star workshop. I think I can live with that…

**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Please review if you have time- it would mean the world to me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. I have now finished university for the summer, so I will be able to devote more time to writing. Here is the next instalment, please enjoy!**

It is 10:57am, not that I'm obsessively counting down the minutes or anything. I am sat in a small, dingy music room in the Melville community centre next to the theatre. Artie Abrams is organising sheet music and discussing in earnest the arrangement for 'You're the One That I Want' with Brad the piano man. Ryder Lynn hasn't arrived yet. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter, it's not even 11 o'clock yet, but I know that the anxiety and low self-esteem which has crippled me since childhood means I won't calm down until he's here.

Minutes go by, and I start to believe he's really not coming, until finally, at 11:07am (still definitely not counting), he bursts through the door, out of breath, hair dishevelled (and wow, it looks hot like that).

"I'm so sorry" he says breathily in Artie's direction. "I had…something…that overran, I literally ran here."

"That's okay man, you're only a couple minutes late and we have the room booked all day if we need it."

Ryder turns to me.

"Marley…hey. I'm so glad you got the part. Your voice is incredible" he says, straightening out his floppy hair and giving me a crooked, adorable smile. He slips off his jacket to reveal a tight, striped t-shirt, accentuating his muscular arms, (_Marley, quit staring_), and takes a swig from a water bottle.

Artie begins the session by suggesting that, although it is all very 'first day of high school' and he 'hated doing it then himself', we should start by telling each other a bit about ourselves and why we wanted to do Grease. I groan internally. I too, hated doing this in high school.

I am invited to begin, and I tell Ryder (and Artie and Brad, who observe,) about my time so far in LA, my degree in music, who I live with and where I work, my mom, and my turbulent high school years. I choose to omit my struggle with bulimia, and how my lack of a father figure has messed me up emotionally, both things which consider to be my biggest personal torments, and which I think are both way too heavy for a second time meeting someone. I also choose not to discuss my long time feud with Kitty, who I will have to remember is now our fellow cast member…

Once I have rambled on about what I believe to be my very boring, insignificant life for about 10 minutes, it is Ryder's turn to reveal all…or so I thought. He tells me about his life, his friends and family, his high school experience, but it's all very wishy-washy, and honestly I don't believe a bit of it, and my scepticism is confirmed when he claims to have majored in English at the same college as me- he evidently doesn't know that my school was specialised in music and drama, and didn't run any English programmes. However, I put on a weak, fake smile and nod all the same. It's all very strange, and it reminds me of his unconvincing, not at all revealing excuse for being late. I chastise myself internally for assuming Ryder was some demi-God, divinely perfect figure with no emotional baggage whatsoever. The strangest thing of all is that, although I know he's lying through his teeth to me right now, I don't like him any less for it. After all, I left out a good chunk of my personal problems. If anything, I am more endeared to the increasingly mysterious Ryder, who I know accept is a normal human being, with personal demons of his own.

"Marley…Marley?" Artie's abrupt voice shakes me out of my thoughts, and Ryder chuckles.

"Wow, I must be really boring huh?"

"Sorry! No, not at all!" oh crap, he's gonna hate me… "I just…sorry, my mom always said I have my head in the clouds." I chuckle nervously, and Ryder gives me a wink, which 1. means I haven't really offended him, and 2. um, wow, that was the hottest thing I think I've ever seen, _and dammit Marley, you really need to sort your life out if you are going to continue to be unable to correctly function around this man._

"That was awesome, you guys, I now already feel like we know each other better." Artie says, wheeling his chair round next to the piano. _Well then Artie, you clearly weren't paying to attention to Ryder._

"Okay" he continues, "now I'd really love to hear you two sing… 'You're the One That I Want', stripped down, piano only, just to see how you two feed off each other, chemistry wise."

We nod, and Brad starts playing on the dusty, slightly out of tune, piano.

"I've got chills, they're multiplying" Ryder starts, and I am in awe, realising that this is the first time I've heard him sing. He is amazing, there is just so much power to his voice. I join in at the appropriate point, and in no time we are owning that tiny room, completely forgetting where we are and who we are with. For those few minutes, we really are Danny and Sandy, on our last day at Rydell High. It's an awesome feeling. We finish the song, and Artie is beaming and clapping. Ryder pulls me in for a hug (_swoon_), and Brad sits there, unmoved. Oh well, I guess emotion, and like, talking, aren't really his things.

"You guys, that was incredible!" Artie enthuses, and invites us both for a high five. "Okay, what's next?"

A couple hours later, our workshop is over. Artie says goodbye, Brad gives everyone a stare, wipes down his piano and leaves, which I assume is his equivalent, and myself and Ryder are left in the room, packing up our things. I decide I might as well say something, I don't want him to feel he can't be himself around me.

"You know, not going to college isn't a bad thing" I suggest, smiling shyly.

"I'm sorry?"

"You said you studied English at the same college as me. But um…you can't actually do English there."

"I must have misheard you when you said its name…they must be similar" he mumbles. His excuse is feeble, and he can't look me in the eye.

"Come on Ryder, it's really nothing to be ashamed of-"

"Fine!" he yells. "Fine, you wanna know the truth? I didn't go to college, I barely even graduated high school. I was late today cos I was at a class to help with my reading and writing. I'm stupid, ok. I'm stupid and I'm ashamed."

"Ryder you're not stupid, that's-"

"Don't even bother. Man, I thought you were cool Marley. Until you stuck your nose into my business. Well don't do it anymore cos you don't know half of it. If you even knew about half the crap in my life you'd run as far away from me as possible and you wouldn't look back once."

"Same here Ryder. I didn't tell you any of the stuff I've been through either. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have meddled. I'm really sorry."

Ryder looks down.

"Yeah well, I'll see you at the next rehearsal." He picks up his bag and leaves before I can reply.

_Marley Rose, what have you done._

**Uh oh…I hope you enjoyed it, despite the AU setting I'm trying to keep the characterisation as close as possible to in the show. Please review if you have 30 seconds, every review makes my day. Thanks! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all the kind feedback after last chapter, it delights me that people are enjoying the story. Here is chapter 4!**

**PS. I don't own Glee. Or Grease for that matter. Tis a great shame I don't, though!**

I'm back at mine and Unique's apartment a couple hours after I screwed up my workshop with Ryder, desperately trying to find a way to try and make amends before the first mini group rehearsals with the other actors with singing parts start next week. This is a lot harder when you don't have the phone number of the guy you're trying to apologise to, so I am taking Unique's advice and trying to stalk him down on Facebook. Given that we apparently have no mutual friends, this takes longer than I would have liked, but I eventually find a Ryder Lynn living in Los Angeles, and add him as a friend. I wonder if he will even bother accepting me after the incident earlier but I can only hope so, as I have no other way of contacting him. Unique is as dejected as me when she discovers that his strong privacy settings don't allow us to stalk his pictures other than his profile photo without being friends with him ("_gurlll, that boy is hella cute, why'd you screw things up already?"), _so suggests we have a bottle of wine to cheer ourselves up. I don't have to go to work till the evening tomorrow so I readily agree. I check online to see if he has accepted my friend request at regular intervals throughout the evening, but so far nothing. I go to bed after 2am, wondering what on earth even possessed me in the first place to confront him about his story so soon after meeting, and whether or not I can even continue with the production. After thinking about it whilst lying in bed for a very long time, I come to the conclusion that I shouldn't blow my opportunity just because I had an argument with a guy I barely even know yet. I finally get to sleep after 4am.

I don't wake up until the following afternoon, and it's only cause Unique comes in to check I haven't like, died or something. Before I even get out of bed I pull over my old, somewhat worse for wear laptop and check. Nothing. I spend as long as possible moping in my PJs eating crappy food and watching reruns of Friends. I haven't spent a day feeling this sorry for myself since I broke up with Jake, (_or rather, Kitty ensured that Jake broke up with me.) _It's suddenly 5pm and I have to get ready for the always gruelling Saturday night shift, where the café becomes more of a bar, and I have to endure several hours of increasingly drunk, bad tippers yelling at me for another vodka and coke.

I finally get home from the hellhole an hour after midnight, and I inevitably check my Facebook as soon as soon as I've pulled of the tight shoes which have been murdering my feet. Finally, the notification I've been waiting for. _Ryder Lynn has accepted your friend request._ My stomach lurches slightly at the thought of approaching a conversation, but he's not online, so I decide to write a long, grovelling, apologetic message. I sigh loudly, and begin to type.

_Dear Ryder,_

_Thank you so much for accepting my friend request. I didn't think you would, and honestly, I wouldn't have blamed you if you hadn't, I was a total jerk to you. All I can say is that I'm so sorry for what happened after our Grease rehearsal. Although I didn't mean to offend you, I should have thought about how I would have of reacted someone I'd only just met properly started poking their nose into my life- I would have hated it, because I've been through a lot of bad stuff, I kinda still am, and in the past, I've been the one who felt like the people who thought they were helping me were actually just interfering, like I did to you. The thing is, you made me curious, I still am and I only wanted you to feel you could be yourself around me. I realised almost immediately after I said anything that this was totally hypocritical of me, cos, although I didn't lie about anything to you (totally not a dig, I promise), I didn't really tell you who I am. Yeah, I told you what school I went to, and what town I grew up in, but I didn't tell you anything about the real me. It is my sincerest hope that in the future we will be close enough friends that we can tell each other these things, and support each other through them. _

_So I'm sorry Ryder, I'm so, so sorry. You seem like an awesome guy, and I'm really looking forward to playing Sandy opposite you. So I want to make it up to you- could I like, take you out for dinner or something, or for a drink? Just as friends, because I hope we can become friends, to say sorry for what I said. Message me when you're free? _

_Thanks,_

_Marley x_

_PS. Sorry for waffling on. I just did a 10 hour shift on the bar, I can't really think straight :p_

I wonder if the kiss after my name is too much, but I decide to bite the bullet. It's in my loving nature I guess. I grimace, press enter, then try and get some sleep. I have to be back at the hellhole for the lunch shift tomorrow.

My alarm screeches angrily at 9am, and before I even think about showering, I'm logging on. He's replied. I feel almost a little sick, but click on the message nonetheless.

"_Hey Marley. Its ok I thought about it and I was rong 2 shout at u. u were just tryng 2 help- sorry. Diner sounds great. Coud u do tonite? Do u know breadstix near the theate? meet at 7pm? Ryder x"_

I read his message and I don't think I've ever been more relieved in my life. _And he put a kiss too! PHEW. _I excitedly type back a reply.

"_That sounds great! They have Breadstix in LA? That is so cool! They have one my hometown, I swear it's like the only restaurant people in Lima eat at ever :p I'll book us a table. See you tonight __ "_

I search the LA Breadstix phone number, book a table for two (_arghhh), _turn off my computer, and rush into the shower before I'm late for work. _It's not a date Marley, it's not a date. _I know it isn't, it's a 'sorry I screwed up' dinner, but I'm beyond excited all the same. Time to get this shift over and done with and off to Breadstix…

**Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter! All reviews will be so appreciated. Thanks guys!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for your feedback after the last chapter **** Here is chapter 5: (warning, mention of eating disorder towards the end.)**

**PS. I do not own Glee!**

Although I know that my dinner with Ryder tonight is _not _a date, as soon as I get back from the hellhole (work), at about half four, mine and Unique's top priority is finding me an appropriate outfit. Unique rummages through my small wardrobe whilst I sit on my bed and judge her choices;

"Too posh…too revealing…too librarian…too homeless."

We eventually settle on a denim day dress, some tights and a smart-ish cardigan. I eventually and reluctantly give in to Unique's protestation that I should wear a pair of heels and some jewellery to smarten it up. She does my makeup in a nice yet understated way, and I am finally ready to go.

I pull up to Breadstix in my tiny, ancient car just before 7 o'clock, and, despite its much more glamorous city setting, it looks similar to Lima's favourite back home. It should make me feel at ease, but instead I'm wondering if I should go in, in case Ryder's already in there, or stay here in case he's not and faces the same conundrum I'm currently facing when he does arrive. Just when I'm about to go in, he appears behind me, with a small smile. We just look at each other in the eyes, slightly awkwardly before I speak.

"Hey."

"Hey. Shall we go inside? Our table is waiting…You look great by the way."

"Thanks, yeah let's go." I very obviously blush, and follow Ryder nervously into the restaurant, and immediately feel as if I have been transported back to Ohio. A waitress shows us to our table, and we begin to look at the menu, making awkward small talk about our day, and our upcoming Grease rehearsals, something which continues until we have ordered and received our food, a very quick process, as the slightly rough LA suburb Breadstix does not seem to be as popular as the one back home, which is pretty much the go-to place to eat in Lima.

Once we have exhausted all the general topics of conversation we can muster, I decide to approach the reason we are here.

"Ryder, I truly am sorry for the other day. I didn't mean to pry so rudely, I'm such a hypocrite—"

"Marley stop!" He cuts me off gently, grabbing my hand to calm me. "I've fully forgiven you- I'm the one who owes you an apology. I shouldn't have lied to you in the first place. And don't call yourself a hypocrite, you're not one—"

"Oh but I am, Ryder…" this time it's my turn to interrupt. "I'm a hypocrite because I confronted you about not telling me about the real you, when I didn't tell _you_ about the real _me_ at all. I…I guess I should tell you more, I don't really know how…"

"Hey-" Ryder begins. "How about we focus on becoming proper friends first, rather than having to reveal all our deepest secrets and insecurities to each other when we've only met each other three times. When we get there, I'd love to try and help you with your problems, and vice versa. But until then…how about you tell me this stuff when we know each other better?" Ryder looks at me imploringly with a depth that makes me shiver slightly. _Marley, you're like a schoolgirl with her first proper crush…._I smile and nod by way of reply. Our argument at the workshop showed me he can be pretty intense, even scary, at his worst, but his true kindness that has followed that unfortunate event has already shown me that, at his best, Ryder Lynn is the sweetest guy I've ever met.

By the time we have stopped talking, Ryder has long finished dessert, (I of course, did not have any), and we are the last two people in the restaurant, aside from the staff.

"Whoa, look at the time" exclaims Ryder. "Maybe we should call it a night!"

"Sure, it's getting pretty late…but…" _be bold Marley, you've got nothing to lose… _"…I had a great time tonight. I hope I've even slightly made it up to you."

"Marley, you've completely made it up to me, you're totally awesome. Oh, before I forget, can we swap cell phones and put in our numbers? I know we can talk on Facebook, but…let's just say, I had a bad experience in the past, and from then on I'd prefer not to talk to girls online, no matter what their intentions are…"

I give him my phone, and raise an eyebrow quizzically.

"Can we agree to talk about it when we know each other better?"

"Sure." I reply, and smile. _Why must we be two of the most complicated people on the planet…_

Once we've got each other's numbers, (_oh my gosh we have each other's numbers), _I get the bill and despite Ryder's protests, pay for everything, staying true to my suggestion that this meal is my way of apologising. By the time we have left, it is nearly 11 o'clock and almost pitch black outside, so Ryder offers to walk me to my car. We stroll together in pleasant silence over to my barely functional excuse of a vehicle, where Ryder catches me by surprise by pulling me into a bear hug, then saying goodbye accompanied with one of his seemingly trademark flirtatious winks. I have to wait until I've stopped practically swooning until I can get into my car and begin to drive home. On the journey I reflect on what I have gained from the evening; further questions about our pasts have been asked, but a way to having them answered has also been paved. _Also Ryder hugged me. _But in all seriousness, I feel our relationship has been fully mended before singing rehearsals start. I grin. Singing rehearsals; I still don't have to worry about Kitty for another couple of weeks yet, and, it's not like me to be a bitchy person but, let's face it, Patty Simcox is hardly gonna rain on Sandy Olsson's parade…

I get home and, as predicted, Unique has the girls round and the four of them are waiting with baited breath to hear me recount my evening. After over an hour and a couple of glasses of wine, Sugar, Brittany and Tina leave, all fully satisfied with my account and all fully convinced that by the time the Grease production is over, Ryder and I will have been… 'intimate', shall we say, or, in Unique's exact words, "engaged in some serious Summer Lovin'". As much as I want this to be true, I playfully shoo them all away at this suggestion.

After our friends have left, and Unique and I are cleaning up, my cell phone buzzes. I squeal with excitement- has he texted me already? One can only imagine my utter dismay when I see it is a Facebook notification; a message from none other than Kitty Wilde. I don't even know why I'm friends with her on here, since we well and truly loathe each other. Not knowing what to expect, I open the message.

"_Hey Honey Boo Boo, just thought I'd let you know on here in case you haven't seen the email from Artie Abrams - the actress playing Rizzo has had to quit, something about an unfortunate fall, I really don't know anything more…Anyway, my point is, guess who happened to be there, ready and willing to fill in? So I'll see you soon at the singing rehearsals, because yours truly is playing the top bitch of Grease, and is gonna make you look like a plain old Sandra Dee in comparison. Also, I know the girl who's making the costumes, she let me have a peek today and you are going to have to watch your wait, cos that leotard is tight with a capital T, so be careful. We wouldn't want sexy Sandy to be elephant stomping around the stage during the final scenes now, would we. Jake says hi, by the way."_

Kitty signs off with a sarcastic "_xxxxxxxxx_", and I don't know whether to cry or go throw up my large plate of spaghetti immediately. Having her now directly up against me as Rizzo is already an unbearable thought, but to have her play up to my biggest insecurity, which she unfortunately is one of the very few people to know about, is just cruel. Although I know deep down that she's only doing it to get this exact reaction, or maybe even to get me to quit Grease altogether so she can have the part of Sandy, I can't stop thinking about how tight indeed that costume must be, and all the feelings that my doctors and therapists have been working on helping me get rid of over the past few years are all of a sudden beginning to resurface. It takes all the will power in me to not go to the bathroom and stick my fingers down my throat right now, but I just about manage to stay away and get some sleep. All the same, it is a wonderful night now ruined. Fan-frickin'-tastic.

**There goes chapter 5, I hope you liked it. Please review if you can, I will reply, and love you forever! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for sticking with the story, it means a lot! Here is chapter 6. I do not own Glee or any of the Grease songs.**

It is now a week since my bittersweet night with Ryder, ruined by Kitty, and I am running round my apartment in a mad rush trying to get ready for my first proper Grease rehearsal with the other singing characters, for which I have drastically overslept. I have to leave in 20 minutes maximum, but I am still in my PJs, hair dishevelled, rummaging through my wardrobe for an outfit which somehow will be 50% hot for Ryder and 50% slimming for Kitty. The events of the other night have changed my life this past week in two significant ways; on the good side, Ryder and I have been texting each other steadily since our dinner –strictly platonically, small talk rather than flirting, but still, I feel that it is a big step and a big deal. On the flip side, however, Kitty's snarky comments have made me so conscious of my size, and I've been hard pushed to live off much more than salad and coffee recently, despite Unique's protestation that I am apparently a 'super-hot, skinny ass biatch'. I just look in the mirror and don't see what she sees. It's so frustrating.

I am by now literally running out of time, so I pick one of the casual dresses I've been um-ing and ah-ing over at random and pull it over my head. I look in the mirror and frown. It doesn't look _too _bad, but I still wince at the bumps and vow to abstain from chocolate from now on. I run my hairbrush through my thick tangled brown locks. I don't have time for much makeup, so I throw on my trusty newsboy cap in the hope than its shadow will cover most of my face, grab my bag and rush out.

I sure enough arrive at the theatre slightly late, and guess who lets me know it.

"Nice of you to finally join us Marley, ooh…" Kitty's sentence trails off as her eyes run very obviously down my body and she smirks. It's not in a seductive way at all. She's trying to unsettle me. I sigh and try to ignore her, but am cheered up when Ryder comes bouncing over to me enthusiastically.

"Hey Marley, great to see you. Nice dress, you look great." he grins, pulling me in for a hug, which seems to have become our customary greeting method. _I can live with that._

Kitty raises her eyebrows.

"Aw, Marley that's very sweet of him to say but I think he's just being kind. No offence, but that dress looks a little too tight. I'm only saying this as a co-star and friend cos I don't want you to turn into your finger-licking-lard-loving-Gilbert-Grape-looking Mama-"

"Hey don't talk about my mom like that, you've seen her like once! You don't know her, you don't know what her life is like-" I interrupt her angrily.

-"and balloon to your natural weight of 5000 pounds." She finishes, wearing a snarky, proud expression. Ryder wears one of shock and disgust.

"Wow" he starts. "No offence but you're sort of a bitch."

Just as Kitty looks like she's about to retaliate, Will Schuester, the producer/self-proclaimed vocal coach, stands on a chair and starts to speak. He starts giving a generic welcome/excited/blah blah blah speech. Ryder looks at me as if to ask if I'm ok, and I smile, mouthing 'thank you' for defending me against Kitty's wrath. He leans in towards my ear and whispers.

"Don't listen to her, you look awesome."

I mutter 'thanks' and feel my cheeks go slightly pink. He continues.

"What was that even about anyway? Do you know her?"

I can't help but dryly chuckle. 'Know her' doesn't even begin to cover it. I lean towards _his_ ear to answer.

"She's my worst enemy since college and she stole my ex-boyfriend. No biggie." I find self-deprecating humour often makes me feel better in these situations.

Ryder looks surprised, and grimaces.

"Ouch…" He replies. I shrug my shoulders, trying to make it as obvious as possible that I don't actually care about the Jake issue anymore. It seems to work;

"Well…your ex-boyfriend's clearly an idiot…" He gives me _one of those _winks, and my cheeks are burning. It's all I can do not to make some sort of inappropriate moan in front of all these people, because hell, Ryder Lynn just has an effect on me. Before can I get too lost in my increasingly carnal Ryder-based daydream, Will Schuester, or 'Schue' as I believe he just claimed he would like to be known as, (_I'm not 100% sure, my concentration lay elsewhere) _has just gotten us started in some scales to warm up our voices, with Brad, the ever silent, ever creepy piano player, accompanying us.

"Ok guys" Schue starts, once we are all warmed up. "I'm not gonna patronise you with any high school style icebreakers, since we all had 10 minutes chatting time to introduce ourselves at the start of the session-" I look down feeling slightly awkward…_probably cos you were all waiting for me…_

"But I would like an introduction -of sorts- from our two major stars of the show." He says, looking at me and Ryder. All the heads in the room also turn in our direction. I feel like a rabbit in the headlights. "If you haven't met Marley Rose and Ryder Lynn, they will be playing Sandy and Danny, they had a little one-on-one workshop with director Artie the other day. He gave me the lowdown after it and said you two gave him a pretty epic impromptu performance of 'You're The One That I Want', and I was wondering if perhaps you could give it another run for us now, show the rest of the cast what you're all about, as it were."

I look at Ryder, who nods enthusiastically at Schue. I'm utterly overcome with stage fright, but I pull myself together, convincing myself that if I can't perform for a room of about twenty people, there's no way I can perform for a full theatre. Before I know it Ryder is pulling me through the small crowd to the front of the room. I'm terrified. My mind harps back to my mom reassuring me before my singing audition for college. It makes me feel better. Brad starts playing the piano, and Ryder and I launch into the song, nailing it just as good as before. When we finish, the room is in rapturous applause, aside from Kitty, who scowls in my direction. Schue then continues the rehearsal by starting work on the songs, dividing us up accordingly. I feel a threatening pang in my stomach when I overhear Kitty launching into 'There are Worse Things I Could Do', because wow, she may be the devil personified but damn, that girl can sing. However, on the whole it is a thoroughly enjoyable four hours.

We are packing up when a woman approaches me with a couple of the other girls in the cast, Kitty included.

"Hi there Marley, don't look so scared, I'm Mercedes Jones, I'm the theatre's costume director. I'm just rounding up some of you girls for a quick fitting. I already had your measurements you gave us but I just wanted to make sure."

I gulp, _(yay, checking my body size, my favourite thing to do…) _then follow Mercedes along with the other girls into another backstage room filled with clothes railings and costume upon costume. Mercedes hands me my two main outifts, and ushers me behind a curtain to try them on. The dress fits perfectly and Mercedes is very pleased. Now is the moment I've been dreading, and I'm pulling on badass Sandy's sexy cat suit. I emerge from behind the curtain, self-consciously trying to cover my rather exposed body with my arms. The girls look at me, open mouthed, even Kitty.

"Girl…" Mercedes starts. "You. Look. Smokin!" I giggle. Mercedes reminds me very much of Unique.

"You really think so?" I ask, nervously. Six girls nodding their head in stunned silence is my reply. Kitty remains composed, staring me down.

"Awesome" continues Mercedes. "Well I won't keep you any longer. You're free to go."

I am the last to have tried my costume, and I change out of it then leave them room with Mercedes and the other girls. Kitty lingers back in the room, and I want to know why, until I feel my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. I read the message, and grin.

"_U were awsome tday Marley. Cant wait too see u next rehersal. Ryder xx"_

I squeal internally, and practically skip to my car, completely forgetting all about Kitty.

**Ta-dah. Hope you enjoyed chapter 6. Please review, it would make my day/night. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for your continued support, it means the world to me. Here is chapter 7. I do not own Glee or Grease!**

It is now three weeks since the first session with the rest of the singing cast, and rehearsals are now in full swing. They're taking a toll on my personal finances, since I have had to drastically reduce my shifts at the hellhole, but honestly, I'm not that bothered; I'm having the time of my life, and Unique has kindly agreed to pick up some of my part of the rent whilst I'm earning less.

Things on the Ryder front are also going from strength to strength. We still haven't gotten to the stage where we would feel comfortable revealing our inner demons to each other, as we had agreed we would when we get really close, but we are texting incessantly, our messages getting flirtier and flirtier, but with us both apparently too scared to make a real, bold move…that's how I feel anyway, and according to Unique's girly magazines, which are the word of the gospel in our home, Ryder should apparently feel the same too.

I've been home now for about half an hour, I'm lounging idly on the couch with my laptop on my knees whilst Unique cooks us dinner, exhausted from a rigorous five hour Grease rehearsal of the 'Born to Hand Jive' choreography. A Facebook notification pops up on my screen, and I click on it to find it is an event invite from Ryder, and all the Grease cast and crew have been invited. _An event invite from Ryder. An event invite from Ryder. An event inv-_ _MARLEY. FOCUS_. I read the details, and immediately click 'attending';

"_hey guys, I thouht cos weve been wokring so hard on grease we could go for some drinks together after frdays rehersal at the bar near the theter. wood be great to get to no each other more outside of grease :) " _

I grin. It's a really nice idea to get the whole production together on a social basis, even if there is only one member I'm really interested in getting to know better. _Ryder really is so sweet. And handsome. And charming. And muscular. And-_

"Girl get your head out of the clouds, dinner's on the table." Unique barks at me in her typically loud fashion, probably necessary before my mind wanders too far into my Ryder Lynn obsession. I have now come to terms with the fact that it is now an obsession, the 'crush' line being crossed weeks ago.

Friday finally comes around after three long days of anticipation. I am relieved that today isn't a dance rehearsal and I won't have to be all tired and sweaty at the bar with Ryder. (I am deeming the rest of the cast and crew's presence there as irrelevant.) We are instead trying to nail down the scene after the pep rally where Danny insults Sandy after meeting her again to look cool in front of the T-Birds. It is a long and arduous process and takes the entire scheduled time, mainly because I keep laughing at Ryder when I'm supposed to look dejected and inconsolable. When I laugh, he laughs, and we're not getting anywhere.

"Look at me, and pretend you hate me, Marley. Imagine I'm breaking your heart" Ryder laughs. "Get into the Sandy mind-set" he continues, placing his hand on my temples, pretending to magically zap my brain into Sandy Olsson's. I gulp at the feel of his soft hands either side of my face, and our eyes make contact for several seconds, and there is silence, until someone coughs very loudly and very deliberately, and we look around to find the entire room smirking knowingly at us both.

"I..um…let's um, try again" I mumble, turning bright red. I hear a couple of giggles from behind me, and try to focus on the scene.

Once the time we have the theatre's auditorium booked for is up, we all make our way towards the bar down the road together. Whilst we are walking, Mercedes the costume designer approaches me.

"So can you and Ryder just like, do it?" she asks bluntly, and I give her a look of shock. "Oh _come on_ Marley, the sexual tension between the two of you is unbearable enough for us as outside observers, I can't even begin to imagine what it's doing to the pair of you!"

"Oh my gosh, I know right!" pipes in Quinn, the actress portraying Marty. "Did you see them both today?!" She and Mercedes nearly double over in a fit of giggles, and I try to defend myself.

"I…you know what, Ryder and I are…just friends." I'm not even convincing myself.

"Ohhhhhhh, sure you are!" interjects Quinn sarcastically, and more raucous laughter ensues. I decide to ignore them and focus on walking to the bar. I make small talk with Ryder for the rest of the short journey, but stop dead when we get there and I see who is standing in the car park. Jake Puckerman is awaiting our arrival, wearing the leather jacket I bought him for his birthday when we were together. Kitty emerges from the back of our crowd and goes to link his arm in hers.

"Ryder, I invited my boyfriend Jake to join us, I know this thing's technically for cast and crew of the production but you don't mind do you?"

"No, I guess not." Ryder shrugs his shoulders, and gives me a reassuring smile. "Shall we all go in?"

Our party nods, and people start to file into the bar. Jake and I look at each other awkwardly.

"Good to see you, Marley." Jake may have cheated on me with Kitty 'top-skank' Wilde, but he is still and always was exceedingly polite.

"Sure…" is the only reply I can possibly muster.

We go inside and I get a double vodka and coke, because hell, I need one right now. My aim is now to sit as far away from Kitty and Jake as possible, and, to both my relief and delight, Ryder waves at me from the other side of the room to where the two of them are sat, gesturing at me to come and sit with him. Quinn, Mercedes, Artie and Will also sit at our table (Brad is not here, I guess he's probably polishing his piano or something), so it's not exactly the kind of 'Ryder and me' situation I had wanted, but the company is good and, despite my initial shock at seeing Jake there, it is a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

Several hours and drinks later, the bar is beginning to empty and our group are gradually saying our goodbyes until Monday. Ryder and I are amongst the last to leave. I'm hoping it's because our undeniable chemistry means we keep chatting after everyone has gone. The bar is closing, and we leave together, both slightly drunk, and stand in the car park, waiting to be picked up, since we can't drink and drive. Ryder addresses the elephant in the room.

"Sooo…I take it that Jake guy was the boyfriend Kitty stole from you…" he raises an eyebrow, wanting an answer.

"Yeah…", I say, praying this hasn't damaged any potential relationship.

"It must've been pretty awkward seeing him, huh?"

"Yeah I guess. But it could be worse. I mean there's no feeling there anymore, so in the grand scheme of things, I don't really care." I reply. _Hint, hint, hint, hint…._

We are silent for a couple of minutes. I am determined to restart the conversation.

"This was a really awesome idea Ryder. Tonight, I mean. It was nice socialising with everyone."

"Yeah" he starts, hesitating slightly… "ok, you know what?" he continues, "I'm just gonna say it. The alcohol in my blood system I guess…Dutch courage…so…it was nice being with everyone, but I only actually had this idea as another excuse…to go out for a drink…with you…" He looks at the ground nervously, whilst I focus all my strength on not squealing with joy.

"Really?" I stammer. He nods. "Why didn't you just ask me out?" I ask, taking advantage of my _own _Dutch courage. He looks up, embarrassed.

"I was afraid you might say no." He looks into my eyes deeply, and I have to stop myself laughing at such a ridiculous statement- as if I would turn down Ryder Lynn.

"I wouldn't have…" I say, now feeling bold. Before I know it, Ryder is leaning in towards me. I stand on my tippy toes, reaching up to let my lips reach his. We are just about to kiss, perfectly, romantically kiss, when that same sharp, sarcastic, familiar voice very deliberately snaps us out of our moment.

"See Jake, I told you she was over you!" Kitty gives me a proud smirk as she walks through the car park, knowing exactly what she has ruined and loving every second of it. Jake walks awkwardly behind her, trying to avoid eye contact with us. They trot off towards the taxi rank down the street and it's all I can do not to scream out loud in frustration. I turn back towards Ryder. I want to return to where we were, but Unique has just pulled into the car park to pick me up. We awkwardly say goodbye and I reluctantly get in the car, sighing at any higher power which may exist for my continued bad luck in love, wondering why Kitty is so intent on ruining my life, and whether or not I will have another opportunity to kiss Ryder anytime soon.

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I would love it if you could drop me a quick review, it only takes a minute! Thanks!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello lovelies, thank you for your lovely feedback after the last chapter. Here is chapter 8, and it is quite dark; I should probably give you a trigger warning for molestation, I will do everything I can to keep it acceptable as a T rating- please let me know if you think otherwise.**

**PS. I do not own Glee. (If I did, Ryley would be together!)**

As I am driving to the first Grease rehearsal after the production's night out, and the events which followed, or rather, did not follow because certain blond haired bitches ruined them before they even started, my head is spinning, as it has been since Friday night, trying to process my nearly-kiss with Ryder and trying to calculate on a scale of one to ten how awkward things might be today. At the moment I'm plumping for a solid 8.

I pull into the theatre's car park and see that Ryder is also just arriving. I figure that I should say something quick to avoid any potential awkwardness between us quickly whilst we are alone, so I jog to catch him up and attempt to break the ice.

"Hey, Ryder, how are you?" He looks at me and gives me a weak smile, mumbling "fine". I know that fake smile. I've seen it before, the second time we met, when he made up his life story.

"No you're not." I start. He's not getting past me this time either, especially when I am the problem here. _Oh crap, __**I'm **__the problem here. _I try to diffuse any Friday night based tension.

"Look…we both know what happened the other night. Well…nearly happened. If you regret it, then…well, that's gonna be kind of sad for me, but, I don't want it to ruin our friendship." He stops me immediately.

"Whoa, Marley, I do _not _regret the other night. No, wait, let me rephrase that. The only thing I regret about the other night is not just kissing you as soon as Kitty and her lapdog had walked off. This…yeah, I'm upset, but, it has nothing to do with you, I swear. It's just…some of that unhappy past I told you I had being dragged up."

I sigh. I'm part relieved that I have turned out not to be the problem, part ecstatic that he still wants to kiss me, and, for the most part, concerned. I wonder if he would feel that we've reached a level of closeness where he would now feel comfortable in confiding in me about these things. I know I feel that way, but with the ever guarded Ryder, it's impossible to tell without asking.

"I totally understand if you don't, but, would you wanna talk to me about it? It's just I can say from experience that sharing helps." Ryder screws up his face at my proposal, deep in thought for second.

"Actually…yes. That would be nice. But I really don't want to speak about it in a public place…oh crap, and my roommate has family staying…could I maybe come over to your place after the rehearsal? Sorry, I don't want to invite myself but…" I smile sadly. He had told me he'd gone through crap, and now I could really see that he had.

"Sure, that would be fine." I give his arm a small, reassuring stroke, then immediately wonder if that was acceptable, as he flinches ever so slightly at my touch, then composes himself and, as the ever brilliant actor he is, puts on a smile.

"Come on Sandy, let's go kick it, they'll all be waiting for us." I smile and walk through the door he is now holding open for me.

When our rehearsal finishes, Ryder, who doesn't drive, accompanies me in my car to the apartment. Rehearsal was ok. It would have been super awkward considering what Kitty saw on Friday night, coupled with the fact that she had inevitably blabbed about it to literally everyone involved in the production, but Ryder was so upset, and I was so worried about him, that we barely took notice of the jokes, teasing and wolf whistles which came our way.

I pray Unique won't be home, and luckily, once we arrive, there is a note on the kitchen table letting me know that she's been called into work. I ask Ryder if he wants a drink, and pour us a glass of wine each when he politely accepts. I join him on the couch, and wonder how on earth to approach a subject I know nothing about. There is a short awkward silence, but luckily, Ryder starts so I don't have to.

"So…um…I don't really know how to begin…I guess I'll just come out and say it…" He swallows hard, looking down. "When I was eleven…I was molested by my babysitter. She was about 17 or 18. She came in when I was in the shower, and…"

He trails off, clearly unable to articulate the full extent out loud. My mouth drops, and it's as if everything freezes for a split second. I feel nauseous, as if I'm about to throw up, and my brain scrambles to put together any response which could even come close to being acceptable. It fails miserably. The only words which manage to escape my mouth are:

"Ryder…I'm _so _sorry…I..don't even know what to say…"

"Don't apologise Marley…it's not your fault…but, um…there's more…" I gulp, trying not to cry. I have to stay strong for Ryder.

"You can tell me." I look at him imploringly in the eyes. I need him to trust me so that I can help him. He nods, and continues.

"Well I told my parents, who told the police, and she actually got pretty long prison sentence, I didn't think she would. But…it messed me up a lot. I had a really hard time trusting girls after it, I like, literally couldn't talk to them in person. But then, in high school, I met a girl called Katie online, and it was different. I could talk to her, I could tell her everything. I thought I was in love with her. I thought I had gotten my first girlfriend. So I asked her to meet up, and she agreed. So I went along to this park one evening where she asked me to go, and…it wasn't the pretty blond girl in her profile picture. Katie was actually my babysitter's brother posing as a made up girl, I recognised him from her trial. He wanted revenge for me putting his little sister in jail."

I gasp audibly, now completely unable to stop the tears forming in my eyes. But Ryder isn't done yet.

"I got beaten up really bad, I was in hospital for a couple of weeks. And believe, it's taken me four years of intense therapy for me to even be able to talk someone like you…a girl, I mean, let alone be your…friend."

"I…Ryder…that's so horrible, that's the most horrible thing I've ever heard…" I practically sob. It makes my life look like a picnic in comparison. "But…did something happen? I mean, to trigger you today?"

Ryder nods, his eyes sadder than I've ever seen them. His voice cracks as he talks.

"This morning I got the news that my molester got released from prison last week."

I take his hand and gently stroke it, trying to comfort him.

"She can't hurt you anymore, Ryder. She won't be allowed anywhere near you, she won't even know where you are-"

"I know, Marley!" He almost shouts as he really begins to cry. "I know she can't hurt me but don't you get it? How many other eleven year old boys will she be near? She can't hurt me, but she can hurt them! And I can't bear the thought of another child having to go through that-"

Ryder is unable to finish his sentence as he chokes into a sob, and I immediately pull him into a hug, his head against my chest, and I cradle him, rocking him gently back and forth in an attempt to soothe him, all the while crying too. Ryder eventually calms down and we sit in this position, with me holding him whilst he silently cries, for about half an hour before either of us musters the emotional energy required to speak again.

"So there you have it" Ryder says dejectedly. "My crappy life." I can offer nothing more than a sad sigh. Ryder continues.

"So how about you?" I give him a puzzled look. "You said you went through hell too."

"Oh…" I start "Just…body issues. Nothing in comparison to…" He knows what I mean. Naturally, I believe it would be selfish to start talking about my problems given what Ryder has told me about his. He sits up, and looks at me in earnest.

"Thank you, Marley. Thank you so much for listening. You're the best, I really mean it."

He rests his head on mine, before continuing.

"I feel so close to you…"

I shiver, before replying;

"I feel so close to you too…"

We stare at each other in the eyes, before his head leans down, and he presses his lips against mine, this time without interruption. Before I know it, some of the romantic tension that has built up between us in the last few weeks is being relieved, and Ryder is deepening the kiss, our tongues dancing together in sync as we lean back into the couch, my hands running through his trademark floppy hair, and-

"crap…crap." Ryder breaks the kiss and sits up. Still lying on the couch, well and truly flustered, I don't understand.

"Ryder…what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

"No." he replies firmly. "It…it's not you, I just can't…not today. I'm sorry…thanks for everything."

And with that, he suddenly gets up and practically runs out the apartment, leaving me on the couch with no word of explanation. I am so confused. Before I can stop myself, I bury my head in my hands and burst into tears.

**There you go, thank you for reading the chapter. **

**This chapter was very difficult for me to write, so please, please spare a moment to tell me what you thought. **

**Just a note, I decided to change the identity of the catfish a) because it wouldn't have worked being Unique in the story b) I thought it added more depth to Ryder's issues and c) I thought Unique being catfish was a silly decision by RIB. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello, thank you to everyone who gave me positive feedback for the last chapter; it was very hard to write and I wasn't sure about it, so it's great to know that it was well-received. On a side note, I have fully planned out the rest of the story and decided that there will be all-in-all 12 chapters including an epilogue, so we are reaching the home straight, but that doesn't mean it will be plain sailing from now; in fact there are still obstacles to come and be settled! With that said, here is chapter 9, and please remember, all reviews will be appreciated and I do not own Glee! Also, trigger warning for eating disorder.**

Unique is currently driving me to my Grease rehearsal because she doesn't trust me not to accidentally crash. This is because I am basically only half-conscious as I have barely slept since the revelations from the other day, plagued day and night by the memories swirling round my brain, of Ryder's childhood horror story, and a pretty heated kiss being abruptly stopped by him. I keep telling myself that he probably didn't want to associate our would-be first time together with his molester being released from prison, and the memories involved, and I know I shouldn't be upset at him for just leaving without a word, but my 'Marley Rose syndrome', as one of my shrinks called it, is kicking in, and I am filled with the familiar self-doubt and worry that I may have done something wrong.

We pull up to the theatre, and I hop out, or rather, pull myself out exhaustedly, of the car. As soon as I enter the auditorium, Artie makes his way towards me.

"Hey Marley, could you go to the wardrobe room? As you won't have forgotten, opening night is approaching, we're rehearsing in costume from now on."

I nod nervously. Whilst I've tried them on and _know _they fit, my costumes are so tight, and my eponymous Marley Rose syndrome means I would be cripplingly self-conscious about my body even if they were super baggy.

I make my way to wardrobe and Mercedes beckons me over.

"Hey Marley, I just wanted to let you know that I'm keeping your sexy-Sandy cat-suit on lockdown until the opening night, I figured if you shock the rest of the cast and crew with your hot bod as much as you shocked me and the pink ladies when you first tried it on, it'll be more believable to the audience. I checked with Artie, he thinks it's good idea. But here, you can definitely still practice in this."

Mercedes hands me the main costume I will be wearing for the majority of the performance, Sandy's white shirt and yellow cardigan and skirt. I slink behind the dressing screen and slip into my attire…at least, that's what I try to do. I have to yank the shirt over my chest with all my strength, pull on the cardigan and, when I've finally managed to pull the skirt over my supposedly narrow hips and up to my waist, the zipper just will not do up. I emerge from behind the screen in a state of panic, my eyes imploring Mercedes to help me out.

"It won't…go!" Mercedes practically pants out as she tries unsuccessfully to tug up the zipper which, when I tried it on last just a couple of weeks ago, slid up with minimum effort. As Mercedes is plotting her next approach at pulling it up, Kitty arrives for her costume, talking loudly to Quinn.

"…and so, I said to her, Q, I said 'there are no small parts, only _fat _actresses…", she boasts brazenly, her head very obviously turning to me on the word 'fat'. I feel nauseous. _She only just got here, she doesn't know about the poor fitting. That means my fatness is noticeable. _She continues, rudely confirming my fears.

"Oh sorry, did I say _fat_? It's just I couldn't help but notice Marley's very obvious weight gain. I'm confused, are you playing the lead role in Grease or Hairspray?" She is loving every moment of this. I, on the other hand, am dejected. All those years in high school of different adults telling me I wasn't fat, and it turns out after all that I was.

"I don't understand", I say, trying not to cry. "I haven't been eating any differently!"

"Well of course you haven't Honey Boo Boo." Kitty interjects. "You're just developing into the size that your unfortunate DNA destined you to become."

Mercedes tells me to take of the skirt, and sets about resizing it. I do the rehearsal as the only actor not in costume, adding to the shame that is having to look Ryder in the eye. He catches me after the end of the rehearsal to enquire as to why.

"Its…er…it's not finished." I lie, wanting to crawl into my bed and hibernate for about a hundred years.

"Oh. Well, I guess Mercedes needs extra time to make it special enough for the girl wearing it." He sends me a typical Ryder wink. He also seems to be pretending that _that _incident never happened. Or maybe not.

"Look Marley, I'm really sorry for the way I acted the other day. You were so helpful, and supportive, and non-judgemental, and I didn't handle it well. I guess there were so many emotions floating around in my head, I didn't know how to organise them. I panicked. I just…I need you to know that…that kiss was real to me. I can't stop thinking about you when I'm around you and when I'm not."

He leans down to peck me chastely on my lips, and my spirits are lifted instantly. I kiss him back eagerly, and, before we know it, our awkward conversation has turned into a fifteen minute car park make out session. That is until, inevitably, Kitty (who for some reason stayed behind after everyone else, I neither know nor care why), interrupts.

"UGH, get a room." She throws an angry look our way as she stomps to her car, and we awkwardly untangle our hands from each other's hair. Ryder talks again.

"Um…something else has been playing on my mind, about the other day." I raise my eyebrow in confusion, signalling for him to continue, which he does. "I asked you about your past, the one you said you had. You brushed it off as body issues, I guess cos you didn't think you should worry me further, which was again, really sweet of you. But now that I'm okay, I'd love to hear your stories. I'd love to help you the way you helped me."

My face falls, and I remember today and the costume all over again. With such similar memories, I can't face talking about my high school/college bulimia right now, I guess I'm a coward.

"Oh…it really is just body issues. It's fine." I reply limply, looking down at the ground, and Ryder's kind smile fades.

"Remember the second time we met? You knew I was lying by my face?" He asks. I don't dare reply, staring blankly at him. "Well," he continues, "I think I could do a pretty good job of that myself, and I think you know exactly what I mean by that."

His tone as become bitter. I feel ashamed. He starts walking away from me.

"You know Marley, I know I can't talk, but I never had you down as a liar." And with that, he is gone.

The next day, back at rehearsal, I go to try on my costume, fixed by Mercedes and ready to wear. Except it's not. It's even tighter than yesterday, I can't even get the skirt over my hips. Mercedes adjusts it again, but the next day, again, even tighter, and I can barely keep myself together, hardly helped by the fact that Ryder is barely speaking to me. I try to put it down to stress bloating, until for the third day, my costume is tighter still. I now accept that I am definitely the problem here.

Kitty has been monitoring my predicament closely, no doubt delighted by my sudden increase in weight. When I am sat in tears in the dressing room after failing to fit into the skirt for the fourth day in a row despite barely eating, she pulls me into the bathroom, checking that we are alone.

"Okay sweet cheeks, let's cut the crap here. You need to lose weight pronto, and, let's be honest, you and I both know that _you_ know exactly how to do that."

I am confused. Kitty can tell.

"Okay honey, let's jog some memories. Marley, these are fingers" she says sarcastically, holding up her index and middle finger for extra effect. "And again, you and I both know that _you_ know what to do with them."

_I do. I know exactly what to do with them. But I swore to my Mom and to my doctors that I would never go down that route again. _Except I look down at my waist and consider the way I've been bloating consistently, and I know that I have to do it if I want to successfully portray Sandy. I nod at Kitty, who then leaves me in private. I walk slowly into a bathroom stall and crouch down against the toilet. I shove my fingers down my throat and feel the oh-so familiar feeling of bile rising up my throat. I make myself throw up until I'm pretty sure that there is nothing left in my stomach. I tell myself that _I will keep doing this until I get thin again. I will do whatever it takes. I will play Sandy, skinny._

**Et voilà. I hope you enjoyed chapter 9/didn't find it too upsetting. Please review if you have thirty seconds, it will make my day and I will respond to all non-guests. Thanks!**


	10. Chapter 10 Part 1

**Here is chapter 10- part 1. I know I said about chapters last time but when I finished this it was so long, with 2 linked major incidents, that I decided to divide chapter 10 into 2 shorter parts, as they both depict the final dress rehearsal, so there will be an extra installment than I planned. Enjoy! Here's hoping it uploads better than the last one, I had to delete then re-post chapter 9 because it wasn't loading properly…grr… Anyhow, please review, it only has to take 30 seconds! :)**

**PS. I do not own Glee.**

**PPS. Trigger warning for eating disorder.**

As I arrive at the Melville community yet again, I reflect. I am being pushed to my absolute limits. I purge myself of everything I eat, yet the costume is still so tight, if it fits at all. Mercedes is utterly confused every time I hand it to her to adjust. Neither of us can understand how I am gaining so much weight so quickly and consistently. Whenever I am not at rehearsals or frantic shifts at the hellhole, I am working hard at the gym, determined to sweat out and burn off extra pounds. My manic efforts are not going unnoticed by Ryder, who knows something big is up, but doesn't know what. He is caught between being offended that I won't tell him anything and being worried about me.

Kitty is also checking up on me. She's been a lot nicer to me since she helped me see the light in the theatre bathroom. I feel happy that she was prepared to tell me to revert to my old ways in order to fit into my costume- she really wants me to look good and do a great performance, I don't know why I didn't see it before, right? In fact, she's happy that I'm Sandy and she's not- she's so invested in playing a believable Rizzo that she's usually the last one to leave after rehearsal, I presume cos she wants the extra practice to get it right. Why didn't I noticed she was such a gem before...right?

I am currently walking to costume, to get ready for our final dress rehearsal. The opening night is tomorrow. _Tomorrow. _I can't believe that after weeks of turmoil, stress, and damn hard work, the project is about to come into fruition. Of course, the show runs for ten weeks, so the hard work won't stop after tomorrow night, but there's something about any opening show which is just so special, and it's so important that I do my bit to make it perfect. I am also super excited cos my Mom saved up to fly over from Ohio to see me in my first professional, albeit small time, musical, (indeed, any music themed job) and is staying with me and Unique for a couple of weeks, and thoroughly enjoying the LA sunshine whilst I rehearse. I just hope she hasn't heard me making myself sick, I know she would be devastated.

I go over to the railing where my yellow costume hangs, feeling much more confident about it than the at any other point during the last couple of weeks; yesterday it fit, without even a hint of discomfort, in fact, it was slightly too big, so today I have allowed myself to eat a whole salad and not throw it up. My rigorous method of binge and purging over the past couple weeks has evidently finally paid off, and I can't wait to feel it fit me again-

_Except it doesn't fit. The zipper won't close. It's happened again._

The buzzer rings for us to get on stage for the final full run through, but I need to get this zipper up first, so I traipse off to the empty girl's bathroom, dejected. I can't help the tears, I really thought I had got my weight under control. Apparently not. I walk into the end stall, slump on the floor against the toilet, and make myself throw up. Just as I am sticking my fingers down my throat one last time for good measure and coughing up violently, I hear someone come in, and a very recognisable voice which hasn't been talking to me much lately.

"Marley? Are you in here? Everyone's waiting for you…" Ryder calls out.

Unfortunately I am unable to stop hurling quick enough and, hearing my spluttering, Ryder bangs open the stall door to find me bent over the toilet coughing, my index and middle fingers still positioned in a way that makes it very obvious what I have been doing.

"Marley, stop!" He yells, horrified. "Why are you doing that?!"

"Why do you think?" I whimper. "My mom's my hometown joke, and I'm gonna turn out just like her. I haven't been fitting into my Grease costume the past two weeks and I haven't just now."

"Well sticking your fingers down your throat is only gonna make things worse!" He replies.

"Oh, spare me the lecture, I've heard it all before." I snap at him, then we both realise what I've just said.

"Heard it all before?" He asks. "That was it, wasn't it? That was the thing you wouldn't tell me. You were...bulimic?" The only reply I can offer him is a sad nod of the head and a small sob. Ryder continues.

"Marley, why didn't you tell me? You know I wouldn't have judged you, I don't judge you now!"

"I would have told you…" I start "I would have, I swear, the day you asked me…but that day…my costume wouldn't fit…it was all so fresh…it was starting again…" I trail off, crying harder again. Ryder pulls me into his arms for a trademark bear hug. _I've missed these_. He begins to talk again as we pull apart.

"Promise me two things, Marley. Promise me you'll get proper help for…this, and promise me that you'll talk to me about it. You said yourself to me that talking helps. Please?" I nod sincerely, and am rewarded with a smile. "Thank you. Now come on, I don't wanna kiss a girl with puke on her breath, either on stage…or later." I smile, yank up my tight, but now do-able zipper, assuming that he likes me again, and, given what he's just said, deciding not to tell him that I have just thrown up my entire stomach contents. We walk hand in hand to the auditorium to get the rehearsal underway...

**Ta-da :) Please review! Chapter 10 part 2 is already fully written and polished, so I will update soon! Thanks for reading :)**


	11. Chapter 10 Part 2

**Thank you for your kind response to part 1 of chapter 10, and without further ado, as promised, here is part 2. I was going to upload it tomorrow but I'm busy, so here it is now :) I don't own Glee or Grease! Trigger warning for eating disorder.**

The rehearsal is going well. I am currently psyching myself up for the big dance number, Born to Hand Jive, using the adrenaline released from proudly walking into the rehearsal in front of everyone, my fingers entwined with Ryder's, but it's still proving very difficult as my now empty stomach is rumbling uncontrollably, and I'm kinda light headed. I push it to the back of my mind. _I'm so hungry_, I tell myself, _but at least my skirt fits_.

"Marley are you ok?" Ryder asks, an unfortunately usual expression of worry etched across his face. "You look kinda pale. You were sick before I found you weren't you?"

"Yes…" I admit, not wanting to lie to him anymore. "I'm fine." I brush it off. It's true if I don't think about it… Besides, I already delayed the rehearsal from starting, no way am I going to delay it any further. Our cue goes up and Ryder, myself, and the other singers and dancers take our places on the stage for the number…

'_Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, everybody'…_I don't know why, but I'm finding it hard to focus and pronounce my dance moves…

'_Born to hand jive baby' …_I'm suddenly snapped back into reality by a pang of jealously as Ryder and Kitty execute their perfect and impressive double cartwheel…

'_Born to hand jive baby' …_my vision has now become severely impaired, much more than it was before, my head is spinning and I'm feeling nauseous, my empty stomach whimpering. All I can see is black with bright flashes and the loud music sounds like nothing but an echo. I'm hardly able to sing along, I'm so dizzy and I…and…I…I…

"Marley? Marley! Marley can you hear me?"

I can vaguely hear Ryder's frantic voice from directly above me, and despite my blurred vision, can just about see him too. _Where am I? Am I lying on the floor?_

"Wh-what happ…" I try to formulate a reply, but that's all my brain can create right now.

"Yeah can we have an ambulance at the Melville Community Theatre please? …We've got a woman in her early twenties who's collapsed, we think she fainted pretty bad…" I can vaguely hear Artie Abrams in the background, presumably in the process of calling 911. I try to protest to Ryder, who appears to be juggling cradling me in his arms with trying to get my feet onto a chair, above my head. Someone passes me a juice box, telling me to drink.

"I don't need an ambulance…I don't need juice…"

"You _need _to go to hospital, sweet, this is serious." Ryder says soothingly.

"Just drink the damn juice!" shouts Kitty's voice. She appears above me and, despite my groggy, semi-conscious state, I can detect emotions from her face I've never seen before. Fear. Worry. Compassion…it's weird. Ryder helps me lean forward so that I can take a few sips of the juice, and, as my vision begins to come back into focus, I realise that literally everyone is crowded around, wanting to know what's happened to Sandy. _Oh God. The musical. I've ruined everything._

Two hours later, I am lying on a bed in an emergency room cubicle. I have been visited by almost everyone, from Ryder, kissing me on the forehead and telling me everything is going to be ok, to my Mom, part distraught, part frustrated with me once it unravels why I had passed out. _Yup, I guess everyone now knows I'm a former –or maybe not so former- bulimic._ Everyone was shooed out whilst the doctor did tests on me, and I am now waiting for my results, feeling kinda lonely and sorry for myself. A recognisable voice with an unrecognisable tone peeps up from behind the curtain.

"Marley, can I come in?" I reply "sure", and Kitty Wilde tiptoes into the cubicle, her eyes red and swollen, as if she's been crying. I try to talk-

"-don't say anything, Marley. I want to apologise. I never knew it would go this far, I was stupid to think it wouldn't. I knew you had an eating disorder in the past and I was irresponsible and awful enough to play on that. I know you probably don't want to hear it, and I totally understand that, but I'm sorry, Marley, I'm so, so sorry."

"Kitty, I never had to take your advice, it's my fault too. It's ok-"

"No it's not okay Marley! That's not it, that's even close to it. Marley…I didn't just tell you to make yourself vomit…I altered your costume. Every night I stayed back after rehearsal to tighten it up a little more so that you would think you were gaining weight. I'm so, so sorry!"

She breaks into a sob. I am utterly dumbfounded. All the crap she's given me in the time we've known each other doesn't begin to come close to this. _How could she?_

"I could have killed you!" she continues, "And all cos I was jealous of you. But I'm not here to make this about me and my reckless bid for stardom. In fact, I came here to let you know that I'm going to tell Schue and Abrams what I did, and that I'm resigning from the play."

My mind is caught in a whirl. I'm caught between the fact that _OMG that bitch directly manipulated me into becoming bulimic again _and _wow, Kitty Wilde has admitted to doing something wrong and apologised for it _and_ if Kitty quits, the show is dead. _I do have to remind myself that, thanks to me, the show is probably already dead, but I'll worry about that when my test results are back. Speaking of which, the doctor returns just as I am about to address Kitty's revelation. She leaves us to talk in private before I can reply to her.

"Hello Miss Rose. Your tests all came out mostly fine, your blood pressure is a little low, but that's to be expected with a fainting episode. I do however, wanna talk about something else in your notes. Apparently you received extensive treatment in Ohio for Bulimia Nervosa?" I nod, embarrassed. "Well, according to your friend- Mr Lynn, I think it was- you were making yourself sick today, am I right?" I sigh and look down. "I'll take that as a yes. Look- I don't wanna address that now, it's not my area of expertise, but I'm gonna have to refer you on to a specialist for further treatment, I think you know that." _I guess it's for the best._ "But for now, you're free to go, just take it easy and eat and drink lots. Do you have any questions?"

"Yes actually," I start, "I'm in a show…the opening night is tomorrow evening. I know this is probably a long shot but can I still do that?" The doctor thinks long and hard.

"I can't officially recommend it on medical advice, but if you promise to get lots of rest between then and now, and absolutely, imperatively, eat and drink lots tomorrow, then unofficially, I don't see why not."

I grin and try not to squeal. "Oh and one more question, doctor. Could you please send back in that blonde girl I was with before?" The doctor nods, hands me my discharge forms, and goes to retrieve Kitty, who returns, looking calmer and fresher faced than before.

"Kitty! You didn't tell anyone you were gonna quit yet did you?"

"No, not yet…why?" Kitty looks confused.

"Well the doctor just said I could still perform tomorrow night, but none of us can perform at all if you quit. If there's no Rizzo, there's no Grease. Please, if you want to make anything up to me, whether that's sleeping with my boyfriend or prompting me to stick my fingers down my throat, then you'll not quit Grease and we'll both do an awesome job of it."

Kitty looks slightly embarrassed at my dig, but nods in acceptance.

"Thank you Marley. I don't deserve it at all."

Suddenly, my Mom enters with Ryder, Unique, Will and Artie.

"Will, Artie! Please don't worry, I can do tomorrow night."

"We know, the doctor told us you probably could," starts Will, soothingly, "but we're only happy with that if you feel okay. Your health is everyone's number one priority, we don't want to jeopardise that, even if it does mean postponing Grease."

"There's no need, I'll be fine." I affirm, confidently.

When I am discharged, Ryder takes great delight in being the one to push me to Unique's car in a wheelchair, in case I have another funny turn. When I am positioned in the back seat and buckled up, he kisses me on the forehead, says goodbye, and winks, before closing the car door. Mom and Unique giggle like a pair of school girls in the front seats.

"Shut up!" I yell, feigning annoyance.

"In all seriousness, Marley," says Mom, when she's done laughing, "I've spoken lots to Ryder in the waiting room today and he is just lovely, I wholeheartedly approve the relationship. But when were you planning on telling me about him, exactly?"

"There's nothing to tell…I…we're not…UGH!" More cackling ensues, and I can do nothing about it.

We get home and Mom puts me to bed early with a mug of sweet hot chocolate (_"to raise your blood sugar, darling")_, like when I was a child. Now time to rest and recuperate before tomorrow night, when Grease becomes a reality.

**There we have chapter 10 part 2, drama! If you liked it (or of course, didn't) please review and let me know/tell me why. Thanks! x**


	12. Chapter 11

**Hi guys, thank you for sticking with the story! Here is the last proper chapter, aside from the epilogue! I really hope you enjoy it, and would love it if you could give it even a one word review :) Thanks! I don't own Glee or any of the Grease songs. **

"Marley, calm down, and eat that food!" Mom has made me an early dinner, as we have to be at the theatre by 5:30pm. The curtains will open for the first time at 7 o' clock. Eating said dinner, however, is easier said than done.

"I'm trying, Mom, I'm so nervous! And if I eat all that I'll burst through my cat suit!" Mom sits down on the other side of the dining table in our apartment, and stares at me intensely, frowning, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Marley Rose, it's just a chicken salad. There is almost no fat in it and you need the energy from it for your performance. Trust me, I'm a lunch-lady!" She giggles, before her expression becomes serious again. "I'm watching you until you've eaten it all, and I'll be escorting you to the bathroom if you need it until it's time to go to the theatre." I try to protest, but she doesn't let me. "I'm not watching you continue down that road Marley, not again."

I sigh, and feel really bad. It must have been so hard for her to watch yesterday's events unfurl, like a blast from the not very nice past. My mind flashes back to five years ago…_Mom cries over my hospital bed as I lie helpless, medicines and nutrients being fed into my body through a drip to save my life_. I take a bite of the chicken in front of me.

As I eat, my mind wanders to tonight. The first show. The main event. I wonder if Ryder is as nervous as I am. I worry that Kitty might just not turn up out of guilt, that I'll fluff my lines, that I'll hit a flat note. I worry most of all that I'll look fat in my costume.

I finish my food and run through some vocal warm-ups as me, Mom and Unique get ready to leave. Mom smiles proudly as I start a last minute practice of 'Hopelessly Devoted to You'. Halfway through the second verse, I feel my cell phone buzz in my pocket, and open the text message.

'_this time in 2 hrs well be doing the beech kissing sene ;) ! Exited and nervus. Are you feeling ok after yestaday? Ry xx'_

I smirk at Ryder's very obvious flirting and quickly type out a reply.

"_Feeling fine health-wise, freaking out otherwise! I'm so nervous…but can't wait…particularly for that scene ;) xx' _

Hoping he doesn't think my own attempt at flirting too out of character, I press send. It is time to go.

We arrive at the theatre, which is abuzz with excitement and preparation. Mom and Unique, who seem to get on like a house on fire, are happy to go to the same bar down the road where Ryder and I nearly shared our first kiss, given that the performance doesn't start for a little while, to meet up for a pre-show tipple with Sugar, Tina and Brittany, who have apparently already congregated there with a large glass of wine each. _(Typical!)_ I, however, can't join in with such frivolities as I have the small matter of preparing for my first ever professional performance to contend with, so I move in the opposite direction, backstage.

About half of the cast is here so far. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see Kitty, who gives me an awkward nod. I make my way to the dressing room I will be sharing with all the actresses. My costumes are hanging over my chair. I slip into my yellow dress, which thankfully, despite all the adjusting from Kitty, and my fluctuating, or perhaps simply decreasing, weight, fits pretty much fine, I guess because yesterday Kitty never got the chance to adjust it after rehearsal, and therefore got a pretty big wakeup call in the process. Mercedes, who is also in charge of makeup and hair, approaches me when I have changed, and sets to work on my simple face and ponytail; her real work will come near the end of the performance when she transforms me into Sandy's sexier incarnation.

Once I am in full costume, I make my way with some of the other girls to the room where we had our first practice sessions, for vocal warm up with Will. As we are walking, I feel a playful pinch on my side. I turn, and sure enough, Ryder is grinning back at me, his hair packed with product into true Danny Zuko style.

"Hey Marls, you feeling ok?" I try not to blush at his nickname for me, and nod enthusiastically before replying.

"Yup. Still terrified, but compared to yesterday, feeling great…also, thanks. For yesterday. You were awesome."

"Oh…I didn't really do much. I was too scared Marls, you really gave me a fright! I'm just glad you're ok now." He smiles caringly at me as we enter the room and wait for the rest of the actors to arrive.

"I'm sorry…for scaring you." I reply. "By the way…you know…you made a pretty big impression on my mom…she said last night she wanted to invite you round for meatballs."

"Really?" He laughs, amusement etched on his face. I nod. "Well I'd love to come round for meatballs, if you're gonna be there too." I smile and feel my eyes widen, unsure of how to respond. Thankfully, Artie saves me by wheeling his chair to the front of the room and requesting the attention of the cast, who have by now all gathered in the room.

"Hey guys, I just wanted to say a few words before Will conducts your vocal warm up. So, this is it! We've all worked really hard to get to this moment and I'm really confident in you guys. Now, I know we didn't have a fully finished final dress rehearsal-" I look down and cringe. "-but it's not like we've never done a full run through. Let's do this, there's gonna be a sold out auditorium watching us. Good luck guys!"

He wheels back and we applaud politely. Schue steps forward and we do our vocal exercises.

The performance is by now well underway, in fact, approaching the end, and so far everything has gone great. The opening beach kissing scene Ryder and I were looking forward to so much drew woops and wolf whistles from the crowd, in fact I'm pretty sure I heard my friends shouting slightly inappropriate things from the audience. The first big ensemble number, Summer Nights, was met with raucous applause. Kitty brought the house down with admittedly incredible performances of Rizzo's big numbers, particularly 'Look at Me I'm Sandra Dee.' When I did Sandy's solos, I was utterly shaking with stage fright, the full house looking so much more daunting as the only one on stage, but I told myself that the nervousness would fit Sandy's character, and belted out my songs, note for note.

I have just finished my very quick change of costume, hair and makeup, and I am making my way to the side of the stage to get ready for the last scene and two songs in my tight black cat-suit, red lipstick and permed hair, which, I have to remind myself, hardly anyone has scene on me before. I draw shocked looks from all the crew as I make my way to behind the curtain where Ryder is waiting. He turns to look at me as I approach, his eyes widening as they run up and down my body.

"Whoa…I mean…whoa…" Apparently he is unable to form a proper sentence. I guess that's a good thing?

"Are you sure?" I ask, still feeling beyond self-conscious. "This doesn't look ridiculous?" Ryder gives a small chuckle.

"Not the word that comes to mind!" He grins, but I'm still not sure.

"It's just so tight." I reply, more easily now that I know I can talk to him about my infamous 'body issues'. "I feel like I'm gonna shake out of the seams in the shake shack!"

With that, I notice Kitty walking by, looking worried. She sees my puzzled expression and comes over to me and Ryder.

"Fletcher Mantini is in the audience. If I'd known that I would sung 'There Are Worse Things I Could Do' totally differently."

"Who's…Fletcher Mantini?" I ask, confused.

"Have you been living under a rock?" She snaps, then realises she really needs to start being nice to me and apologises before explaining; "He's a fierce theatre critic. Rumour has it he's only ever written _one _good review." She frowns again and walks to the other side of the backstage area to prepare for the final scene, which is about to start.

I start to visibly panic. Typical Marley Rose syndrome. Ryder, who was about to get ready to go on stage, realises and comes back over to where I am frozen still.

"Look at me, take a deep breath." Ryder says softly, as he caresses my face with both hands. I do as I am told. "You _look_ amazing, you _sound_ amazing, this is going to _be_ amazing."

We take to the stage one final time. I decide this song will go best if I pretend we're back in our one on one workshop, singing it for the first time. Ryder and I look into each other's eyes the entire length of 'You're The One That I Want', and soundly nail it, before the whole cast joins in for 'We Go Together'. Before we know it, we are taking our bows, and our opening night performance is over.

We leave the stage to rapturous applause and cheers. I go immediately to find Mom and my friends, who scream with delight and wax lyrical about my performance, how apparently 'fantastic' I look in my cat-suit, and my on-stage chemistry with Ryder. We chat for about half an hour until I feel Will Schuester tapping on my shoulder.

"Marley come quick, Fletcher Mantini's review is up."

"What? Already?" Schue nods and I feel sick. I had totally forgotten about Mantini in my post-show euphoria.

"Yep, ready for tomorrow morning's readers. We're gonna face it together backstage now."

I follow Schue, shaking, into the practice room and take a seat next to Ryder, who grimaces at me in anticipation of what we are about to hear. Artie begins to read.

"…and might the production team of Mr Abrams and Mr Schuester be headed for careers at NASA? They should be, because last night they plucked stars from the firmament and named them Marley Rose and Ryder Lynn…"

Ryder and I turn to grin at each other. I can't believe what I'm hearing._ Have we really prompted this guy's second good review ever? _ I am unable to focus on the rest of the review, partly because I'm in shock from the guy calling me a 'star' and partly because Ryder and I are still staring at each other.

"That's awesome guys!" Schue's loud voice distracts me from Ryder's face. "Fletcher Mantini is a harsh critic and you've actually made him happy! Artie and I couldn't be more proud of you all, but I'll save most of the sentimentality for after the final performance! So…I guess I'll see you tomorrow for the next two!" We laugh and cheer excitedly, and start to go to the dressing rooms. I change out of my costume, then remember that Mom and Unique have probably been waiting in the car park for ages, so begin to leave. Ryder stops me near the theatre's exit, and takes my hands in his.

"We did it Marley! One down! Didn't I tell you it was going to be awesome?" I can only grin back at him. He bends towards me and our lips crash together. I eagerly run my hands up his toned chest as I deepen the kiss…until we are interrupted by a din of excited squealing.

We pull apart and turn to see Mom, Unique, Sugar, Brittany and Tina standing in front of us, their expressions a mixture of shock, delight, and laughter. My eyes widen and I feel my cheeks burning scarlet.

"So sorry to interrupt, lovebirds, but we were looking for you Marley…" Unique stammers out amongst hysterical laughter. "…I invited the girls over for a late dinner."

"I was gonna make meatballs…" continues my mother, practically crying with glee. "Ryder would you like to join us?"

I look down and scrunch up my face in embarrassment. Ryder gives my hand a comforting squeeze, before replying.

"Sure Mrs Rose. I'd love to."

**Woo! That is the end of the story, but stand by for the upcoming epilogue! Please review! One word is all it takes! xxx**


	13. Epilogue

**Hello all, this is the epilogue, the final update! Thank you to all of you who have read the story, and a particular thank you to those of you who have reviewed, and/or added the story to your alerts or favourites :) I appreciate it so much and love you dearly, good reaction always akes me want to write more! So, here is the epilogue! **

**PS. I don't own Glee. Trigger warning for mention of eating disorder.**

EPILOGUE

ONE YEAR LATER

"Unique, careful with that!" I scold my best friend, trying to keep hold of my own heavy box, as we struggle up what must be the fifth flight of stairs.

"Girl, I could just leave and go cry in my lonely, lonely apartment, or would you like me to continue helping you?" Unique raises an eyebrow and I immediately feel bad.

"Sorry! It's just, that one has my laptop in, you cannotafford to drop that."

"Unique knows, and she won't drop it. Girl, this building _needs _an elevator. How many more trips up and down these steps do we have to make? I mean seriously, how much stuff do you have?" I pout and refuse to answer. We finally reach the seventh floor and collapse through the correct apartment's doorway, somehow managing to place the boxes down carefully enough next to the others. Unique is staring at me with an all too familiar concerned expression.

"Marley, you look pale, you haven't eaten in a while. Have a break and eat something while I get another box." I look at her, confused.

"What, from Ryder's refrigerator?" I ask.

"Marls. It's your refrigerator too, now! Where is he, anyway?"

"He's at an audition. He'll be home soon." Unique nods and leaves to make another trip to the car. I grin at the realisation that indeed it is my refrigerator too; in fact, this is now my apartment, as well as Ryder's. So I go to _our _kitchen area and find some food before flopping onto _our _couch, my mind running over the ways in which my life has changed since I decided to go for an audition for Sandy:

Grease ran its 10 week course, and was a great success. It got good reviews and sold out many of the performances, a fine feat for a small community theatre struggling as a small fish in the big pond that is Los Angeles, the entertainment capital of the world.

After Grease finished, of course, the question mark over my future career was larger than ever. I knew that there was no way I could face going back to working full time at the hellhole after the best 10 weeks of my life. Luckily, after one of the last performances, a man working for a posh hotel came backstage to tell me he loved my voice, and wanted to give me my own slot singing there once I was done with Grease, which I eagerly accepted. I know it's not much in the grand scheme of things as far as the music industry is concerned, but it's good work and I enjoy it, and I'm clinging on to the hope that someone important might spot me there. In the meantime, I'm continuing to write songs, singing in my spare time, and sending around my work, hoping to be noticed. Nothing is being handed to me on a plate, but I know I want it enough to work hard for it. To be honest, I'm just surprised I got such a cool musical job so quickly and easily.

Ryder, who had been trying to become an actor since high school before his (semi) big break, is continuing down that road, going to countless auditions for TV, film, theatre, anything. He was beginning to lose faith until he was cast in as an understudy and extra in a large scale play, and got a small guest role as a murder victim on an episode of CSI, something which we find both totally awesome and totally hilarious. He jokes about it and plays it down, but I'm so proud of him.

One thing that really has been tough, though, is my bulimia treatment. I kind of put it off during Grease as the fun and excitement of it all seemed to make my self-esteem rocket. I guess I thought that, because I now knew Kitty had been manipulating me the whole time, my eating disorder might just go away. Obviously, I was so, so wrong. Once the Grease based euphoria wore off, so did my confidence, and before I knew it I was bingeing and purging again. Many times Unique would come home from work to find me slumped in the bathroom, the toilet full of vomit, sobbing. I was back to my old routine of endless appointments with doctors and shrinks, places I still have to go to now, in fact. It would be naïve of me to suggest that I'm completely 'cured' of bulimia, as I'm not, but I'm certainly much better than I was. The inevitable talks about it I shared with Ryder have helped too.

As for Kitty, well, I wouldn't say she and I are friends, or ever will be, but we've certainly been more amicable since the whole 'costume altering' debacle, especially since we were colleagues for nearly three months. Since the production ended, we've basically just tried to stay out of each other's way, and it seems to be working well enough. As far as I know, she's still with Jake, and I wish them well, I really do, now that I'm happy with Ryder.

_Happy with Ryder. _That brings me back to today, to the reality of what is really happening, this giant step we're taking together. As I continue to munch on my sandwich whilst Unique arrives with a large suitcase filled with my clothes, then leaves for yet another trip to either one of our full cars, I mull over the past year and how far Ryder and I have come. 

For the duration of the production, Ryder and I decided we were too busy to officially date, but the fact that we were working together and kissing each other on stage (and possibly stealing a few kisses backstage) almost every day meant this didn't really pose any problems to our potential relationship. After the very last show, the whole cast and crew went down to the same bar we had gone to before, for a sad, end of a (very short) era drink, and in a throwback to before, Ryder officially asked me on a proper date in the same car park Kitty had previously interrupted us in. I don't know if Ryder had planned it that way, but it was still very cute. Things went remarkably smoothly between us once I had opened up to him properly about my eating disorder, past and present. He was so supportive of me, driving me to doctor's appointments and holding my hand in the waiting rooms.

It wasn't long before we were taking the really big steps. As I finish off my lunch, my mind flickers over the really important moments we've shared together…The first time we said _"I love you"_, the first night we made love. It all seemed so right, it all flowed so perfectly. So it was only natural that when, a month ago, after a romantic night of passion on Ryder's 22nd birthday, followed by a lazy day in his bed, he asked me to move in with him, that my reply was a resounding _'yes'._ And here we are just four weeks later, on moving day. Ryder's old roommate moved out a couple months ago, so we have the entire apartment to ourselves. I would try to describe how happy I am, but I just can't.

Loud chatter distracts me from my daydreaming. Unique is hauling in the last of my luggage, helped by my boyfriend, who is back from his latest audition for a TV commercial. I get up to place a chaste kiss on Ryder's cheek and thank Unique for all her help.

"Congratulations girl, you seem to have allowed Unique to do most of the heavy lifting." She laughs, so I know she's only teasing. "I think I have to go now, back to my lonely apartment…" She dramatically pretends to cry, and pulls me in for a hug.

"I'm sorry babe, I'm really gonna miss living with you! We'll still see each other for coffee on Saturday though won't we?" I ask, as we pull apart.

"Of course girl, you ain't getting rid of me that easily!" She laughs. We say our goodbyes, and she leaves me with Ryder in my new home. I turn to find him with a very pleased, almost jokingly smug grin on his face.

"Looks like I've finally got Marley Rose all to myself," he says, coming towards me and pulling me into his arms.

"Hi roomie." I say happily, snuggling into his chest.

"So Marls," he says after a few seconds. "Do you want a tour of your new home?" I laugh, confused.

"Ryder, did it escape your attention that I've been here before, many times?"

"Come on! Pretend that you haven't, it'll be fun!" I sigh, and nod. "So, Miss Rose, this is the living area plus kitchen plus dining area. Which room would you like to see next?"

"Well…" I start, a wicked grin spreading across my face as I realise the opportunity he is offering me. "Does it have a bedroom?" Ryder laughs, knowing exactly what I am implying.

"Why, yes, yes it does. Would you like to see it?" I nod eagerly, wearing an expression of mock innocence.

As Ryder scoops me up over his shoulders and takes us both to bed, I realise that, although our job futures are uncertain, for the two of us, the future is perfect. Me and Ryder…we just…we go together.

**Hooray! A happy ending, I hope it wasn't too cheesy. There we have it, the final update, thank you so much for reading my first published fanfic. All comments are welcome and will be replied to if you're not a guest, I promise :) Also, I have a ton of story ideas and have already started writing some kinda 'pilot-esque' chapters, so please look out for something soon! Thanks! :D xxx**


End file.
